Big Sean is opening up about a dark time in his life.
During his appearance on Michael Eric Dyson’s Facebook Watch show “One Question, One Mike,” the Detroit rapper got candid about his struggles with mental health and his road to recovery.
“That was my mentality was taking care of everybody else and trying not to look soft or look like a bitch,” he recalled. “I couldn’t get through the day without feeling terrible.”
Things got so bad that he even contemplated suicide. “I was sure contemplating suicide a lot of times, you know having guns in my hands and just really feeling it for real…even planning it out to the point where like, ‘Hey, if I do kill myself at least my family will get this amount of money,’” said Sean. “Because I just was stressed out and not happy. I realized that I need to stop everything I’m doing and figure this out or I’ma self-destruct.”
He had to shift his priorities and focus on himself. “I took the time off, canceled everything I was doing, sought therapy, connected with God more, spiritually grounded myself, and put myself first as a priority for the first time ever.”
Sean has been open about his battle with depression in the past. On “Deep Reverence,” his Grammy-nominated collaboration with Nipsey Hussle, he revealed that he once thought about taking his life.
“In high school I learned chemistry, biology / But not how to cope with anxiety / Or how I could feel like I’m by myself on an island,” he raps on the Detroit 2 track. “With depression on all sides of me / With a Glock 17 right on the side of me / Look, I ain’t think I had the thought of suicide in me / Until life showed me all these different sides of me.”
Back in 2019, Sean said he sought therapy to cope with his mental health. “I was blessed enough to talk to some super spiritual people and they made me realize one thing that I was missing in my life. And one thing I was missing was clarity. Clarity about who was around me, what I was doing–even in music, which is my happiness, my joy, that was always an escape for me, was starting to feel like a burden.”
Sean has not only undergone a spiritual rebirth, but also a physical transformation. He recently showed off his ripped body, the results of a strict workout regimen and healthy diet.
“I wanted to boss up my life,” he told Men’s Health last year. “I said, ‘I’m changing my life and making it a habit.’ ”